One Twitter-sized pitch wins a full manuscript request from THE Suzie Townsend.
Here's mine. Get out the red pen and rip it to shreds!
Kat escapes death by agreeing to steal Banner’s memories of the afterlife. But he’s on a mission to gain her secrets. He wants her soul.
Get yours ready, and thanks for any feedback!
-Marie
10 comments:
Love the pitch. It's a fantastic contest. Good luck in it.
That is so cool!
I'm new to the whole write a pitch thing so I may not be entirely qualified to critique this. That said, I think the story sounds cool however the pitch itself seems choppy when read aloud. I would maybe try and find a way to merge the last two sentences into one. "But he has a mission of his own: to steal her secrets--and her soul."
Best of luck in the contest!!
M.J. Fifield
My Pet Blog
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I agree with MJ. It does sound a little choppy. Try to smooth it out and it should give you more room for extra details. But your premise sounds great!
I rather like your pitch. I would read this book.
Hey no prob on the ramp up. I had so much fun. Seriously though, I was very interested myself, but I got a critique happening with Authoress. One shouldn't be greedy!!
If you're interested in getting your work critiqued and returning the favour, let me know!
Good luck.
Whoops. Almost forgot. Nice 140 pitch!
Good work!
That IS a great contest. Much luck!
Thanks for the advice! I just posted my entry. We'll see what happens. :)
Marie
Suggestion : instead of giving us Banner's proper name, instead give us his identity : fallen angel, unfallen angel, death's kid brother :
Kat escapes death by agreeing to steal the memories of the Gatekeeper to Heaven. But he's on a mission of his own : he wants her soul.
Something like that. I wish you great luck in this contest. My luck at these these contests is a thing of ill omens! LOL.
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