Monday, September 26, 2011

2-for-1 Review for ABDUCTION

You read that right, darlings. One movie, two reviews.

While you may be thinking I have multiple personalities (and I'm not 100% denying that), don't worry. I'm doing two reviews for 1) how I really felt about Taylor Lautner's Abduction, and 2) the guilty pleasure aspect of a movie like this. Sound crazy? Well, I'll walk you through the real review, and you can decide if you want to read my 100 word 'Guilty Pleasure' review. Deal? Great!

When Nathan Price finds his picture on a missing person's website, his entire life changes. Russian baddies and the CIA are after him, but his therapist tells him not to trust anyone except his real dad (who he’s never met). Oh, yeah. There's also a romance. A lot of big names for a movie with relationships as passionate as those in Attack of the Clones, and a *shrug* ending.


Lautner takes off his shirt, and Jason Isaacs and Maria Bello exist (though, they’re severely underused). If the previews entice you, take a deep breath and rewatch New Moon. :)


That was the actual review, but stick with me another minute. There are certain movies that I see without any expectation that they'll be Oscar contenders. Most of them star Amanda Bynes (I seriously LOVE her. Sue me!). I mean, Rotten Tomatoes gave Abduction a 4%, and Entertainment Weekly rated it a 'C' (reader-reviewers gave it a 'D,' btw), so I wasn't hoping for Inception  or The King's Speech.

So here it is. My 'Guilty Pleasure' review of Abduction. Gentlemen, be warned. There may be squeals.

Big names, hot cars, explosions, and what am I missing...OH! Taylor Lautner!


Yes, Jacob's taking center stage with a love interest who may be more bland than Bella Swan. Lautner plays Nathan Price, a rich and extremely buff high school senior with anger management issues and a completely fake life. Thirty minutes into the movie, Nathan and sorta-sweetheart Karen are running from villainous russians and that dude from Spiderman 2. No one can be trusted, but we can't seem to care as Lautner plays the yummy, furrow-browed action star.

He fights, he cries, he takes off his shirt.


LOL! I solumnly swear to never put you through that again if you continue following the cheetah. :) And thank you, Google Images, for providing the smoldering goodness above.



Tonya Kuper said...

Since I have little guys at home I usually have to wait until movies are on demand or Netflix before I get to see them. BUT....I will make it to go see this. Call me a creepy old lady, but Taylor (& his abs) are enough to get me to the theater!!!

Marie Rearden said...

I'm the same way, Tonya. I just ignore the fact that he's, umm, ten years younger than me and enjoy the sights. ;)

Emily Gray Clawson said...

Hey, I'm new to your blog. Great post. I have to say that I enjoyed the movie even though I wasn't so sure about it at the beginning. Predictable and poorly written, yes. But cute chemistry between the two of them.